Many days and moments have passed since the unforgettable Spring of 2005. When hell broke loose in my soul and my heart was thrown into a meat grinder. A non-kosher meat grinder to be exact.
The change of seasons can’t help but become a reminder of how far I’ve come along, but more importantly, how much time really has passed since then. As I ride my bicycle through a city that was once a strange curl in my tongue, Tsiki’s memory brushes over me as i hop a curb on my bicycle. How does Tsiki remind me he’s there? A light breeze over the right of my back. Of course. Often, with his light reminder- I tend to get a tear filled smile in my heart, a slight tug, and then I smile with sadness and continue hopping my bike onto a curb and then off of it. “I know you know, that I know you know, so it’s ok” I think to him about the past 6 weeks.
Today’s weather was a reminder of how happy I really feel as of late. I am able to grin even if his reminders make my heart ache.
Shabbat was spent at a friends apartment in Netanya. One wall was dedicated solely to the view of the Mediterranean. It looked like a living memorial. The sky was a palette of soft greens and pinks, and the clouds were a streak of brush across the sky. I leaned my height-fearing self over the edge and spoke lightly to my soul. Something along the lines of how truly fortunate i feel sometimes. I know I often have a habit of sweating the small stuff, and my past is hard to ignore, but I am a strong believer of knowing that I treasure these happy times because I was so aware of how devastating life can be at times.
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