I spend the night last night in Tel Aviv for an attempt to get much needed rest. As I enter my third trimester, my body no longer can keep up with the 12 to 13 hour days that I have become accustomed to in the last year. A friend is on her honeymoon and I get the reward of a key to keep her home warm and loving. There is a level of excitement in having a bed to myself these days. I feel as if my body has doubled in size and I require at least three pillows to keep me anchored in a comfortable position.
Last night I dreamt of Tsiki. I haven’t had him in my dreams in such a long time I always feared I would never see him again. When he first died, I often lived my life in my dreams, finding comfort in a dream world where he still existed that was still sweet and full of hope. It was only when I awoke that I entered into my daily nightmare. These days, my days have grown into a new form of happiness and my dreams are random and often of peaceful waterscapes and talking fruit.
In my dream I am walking onto a large deck to meet friends for Sushi. I stop and wait for one of Tsiki’s friends who is locking his car. When I glance at the table of the large, wooden deck, I see Tsiki sitting and laughing at the table. I look over and say to his friend “Look! There is Tsiki!!”. I point and pause with the realization that he is sitting there, at the table in front of me, in the flesh. “There’s my angel” I stand there watching him. “There’s my angel” I say one more time before I wake up from this dream in sobs. It takes me another half an hour to calm myself back down to go back to sleep.
Powered by Facebook Comments