I’ve always carried around this list in my head. Of the necessary things a woman should know in order to be well rounded. Aside from the universal knowledge of being able to keep our white laundry white and making traditional family food as well as achieving a moderate level of baking ability and color coordination, I’ve always believed a woman should know how to drive a standard car, a motorcyle, play the guitar, have a moderate level of skateboard ability, have general knowledge on physics, chemistry, biology, OR mathematics, know how to change a flat tire on a car, know how to Jumpstart a car, know at least when you need an oil change and definately where to add water when your car is overheated.
Last thurs, I was able to finally learn when to hold em’, when to fold’ em’, when to walk away, and when to run. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to walk away until I lost all my Kesef, which was2-3 hours later. Either way I think I enjoy the game, and I imagine after 5 more- I can achieve moderate playing ability, with the patience of my competitors, of course.
Las+Vegas= obesity. That’s all I can remember the last time I sat playing blackjack where I lost $30 and retreated to the nickel slots for the duration of the trip. Family’s lining up at the all you can eat buffets, toppeling their plates with whatever fancied their eyes. Top headlines lately: Obesity in America is at epidemic proportions. G-d, I love my country. Iran is building nuclear weapons, AIDS in Africa, Paris Hilton is a hooker, and Americans can’t stop eating their cookies.
Speaking of Americans.
It seems as if every Jewish teenager between the ages of 17 and 19 were walking the streets of Jerusalem over Shabbat. American Teenagers can be spotted by their way of incorporating their sleeping wear into evening spazieren clothing. They can be heard with their ability to shriek in decibals unknown to the human ear.
As friends and I walked home from an extremely satisfying and filling Shabbat dinner. We were stopped by a small group of these future leaders of America and Israel.
Please begin the playing of the typical, middle-upper class- uber peppy -valley-American accent. Now.
JAP #1: excuse me, like where is Pierre eh Kanig, er Konig?
Gentleman to my left: Furth down to your right
JAP#2: OMG!!! an accent!!!!
(giggles all around amongst JAP pride)
Gentleman to my left: Yeah.
JAP#2: England. SHOUT OUT!!!
JAP#1: Thanks!! Byeeeee!!
Two gentleman and Ginrod stand there dumbfounded.
It’s becoming really tough to stand up for my country and represent what I believe American to be when I have so much.. competition?
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